The TeaSpoon Times – next NYT?

Just stumbled upon The TeaSpoon Times, similar to The Onion and a little less serious.

From the Ask a Specialist series:

Ask A Specialist…about cotton swabs

In our “Ask A Specialist” column, readers from all over write in to ask our featured advice columnist pressing questions about a very specialized field. Whether they hope to resolve a dilemma or find a way out of their quandaries and quagmires, they get their answers here. Today we are proud to feature Tori Langston, a Spokane, Washington, resident specializing in cotton swabs.

Dear Tori,

My grandmother looks like a cotton swab. She has this huge head of white hair, a skinny body, and these gargantuan fluffy white slippers she wears around the house. How do I tell her this without hurting her feelings?

-Makenzie McGillivray
Cave Creek, AZ

Dear Makenzie,

This is a trick I’ve learned over the years for dealing with people who look like cotton swabs. Someday soon, take a picture of a cotton swab. When it’s developed, discreetly mix it in with another set of pictures, say, of one of her vacations. Then, one night after dinner, go through the pictures with her, and when you come across the photo of the cotton swab, comment on how good she looks. You can then say, “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s a cotton swab. I thought it was you.” I have never hurt anyone’s feelings using this subtle method, so I am confident it will work for you.

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